Some teens have shared these ideas.
A healthy relationship is based on:
* Trust
* Shared decision-making
* Respect
* Compromise
* Open communication
* Recognizing and respecting differences
* Mutually agreed upon intimacy
* Openness
* Sharing
* Taking responsibility for one's own actions
An unhealthy relationship may include:
* Bullying
* Jealousy
* Possessiveness
* Manipulation
* Verbal abuse
* Blaming someone else for actions
* Pressured intimacy/ unwanted touching
* Intimidation
* Fear
Power and Control - It's a one way street
Healthy relationships are a two-way street--each person has to give and take. Healthy relationships are based on respect and equality. Power and control by one person over another is what unhealthy relationships are all about. Unhealthy relationships are a one-way street. Whether you are now dating or plan to date sometime in the future, knowing what is and what is not a healthy relationship is important to you.
Learn the warning signs
Did you know this about Massachusetts' public high school students (grades 9 - 12)?
* One in nine students (11%) had at some time been hurt, physically or sexually, by someone they were dating¹.
* Female students were more than twice as likely as males to report having experienced teen dating violence (16% vs. 6%).¹
* One in ten students (10%) had experienced sexual contact against his/her will.¹
Are you dating (or would you date) someone who:
* Tells you what to wear, who to hang out with and when you can see your friends?
* Wants to get too serious about the relationship before you are ready?
* Is jealous and possessive, wants to pick your friends, checks up on you all the time (by obsessive phone calling or paging), won't accept breaking up?
* Puts you down in front of friends, tells you that you would be nothing without him or her, calls you names?
* Uses guilt trip-- "If you really loved me, you would..." or says "I'll kill myself if you leave me"?
* Scares you? Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do? Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons? Drives recklessly when you are in the car?
* Makes, but does not keep, promises to change-- "I promise I'll never do that again"
* Pressures you for intimacy, touches you when and where you do not want to be touched or is forceful or scary about sex?
* Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to take them?
* Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
* Is violent? Has a history of fighting, loses his/her temper quickly or brags about mistreating others? Grabs, pushes, shoves or hits you?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you could be the victim of teen dating violence or involved in an abusive dating relationship.
Dating violence can take many forms
Physical: shoving, hitting, punching
Verbal: yelling, screaming, put-downs
Emotional: spreading rumors, lying, possessiveness
Sexual: unwanted touching
Psychological: manipulation, mind games, guilt tripping.
Ending a violent or abusive dating relationship can be difficult and dangerous.
Dating violence can even lead to rape or murder.
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Adult Dating
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