dat-ing news: April 2008

Nigeria Dating - Top 4 Must Know Tips

Nigeria dating on the internet has created fantastic opportunities and solutions for all Nigerians! Are you a Nigerian single? Are you lonely? Frustrated everyone you meet does not share your interest and culture? Who said you can't find love online? Nigerian online dating is certainly the way to go in our fast moving and changing world. Lets take you through 4 must know things in Nigerian dating.

IT'S LIKE MEETING ANYWHERE ELSE

The lazy view that persons who go online to find love are 'desperate' is not exclusively a Nigerian thing. Online dating research by Jupiter research reveals that online dating is only just finding wide acceptance even in the so called developed world. We find many Nigerians ultimately turning to online dating because 'I have run out of options'! You don't have to run out of options before finding a Nigerian date online. The same rules apply like meeting someone anywhere else... you find a Nigerian date and apply your personal rules (go out, tell your pastor etc)

NIGERIAN ONLINE DATING IS BETTER THAN BROAD DATING SITES.

The only reason why Nigerian online dating is better than broad dating sites is because you are in search of a Nigerian! If you are in search of more than a Nigerian date, Nigerian online dating sites might just form one of the options open to you. A great many Nigerians are abroad and lost in the maze of studying, work and it's just difficult to find someone that shares your interests and culture. Your 'no brainer', simple and easy solution is to take control of the process of finding that special someone by searching for Nigerian dates online.

FREE DATING SITES ARE RISKY

It easy to proclaim here that online spam and fraud is all a Nigerian created evil! NO! Dating experts generally agree that paid dating sites are safer than free, all comer dating sites. Think about it, it makes sense that you would be serious about something if you paid some money for it. Check any Nigerian online dating site which runs free, they will certainly get guys complaining that some persons signed on as women and were trying to defraud them! Of course such opportunistic profiles should be booted off after investigating thoroughly!

IT WORKS!

If you have ever been in that position where you just didn't find love for months. It's not that you didn't meet a few ladies or guys. It might have been a lack of time or they didn't fit the bill....it leaves you feeling really empty! Many Nigerians are making love happen online and quickly and easily finding that special someone.

What are you waiting for? Join the many Nigeria dates finding love online today.

Pete Ade struts his stuff as a team member with http://www.DateANigerian.com

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Tips To Successful Free Online Dating

Free Online Dating - More free videos are here

We've all heard the stories; free online adult dating is the next catastrophic thing right behind blind dating. It seems that these free dating communities aren't exactly the best spot to find the one, unless you look in the right place. But where is one to look in the midst of both free and paid online dating websites? And how can one minimize the common woes associated with free dating? Tips to Free Dating The Safe Way By now there are hundreds of stories that claim the majority of free dating websites are filled to the brim with liars. Everyone would love to make a less accurate depiction of their own self if it means they appear better in some way, and this is just what thousands have been doing everywhere. This downfall to free dating can't be avoided, but being cautious will render this problem a non issue. Simply maintain good communication with the contact, and keep pressing for specific answers. A great question to ask comes in the form of, are the pictures you have on your profile recent This will ensure that an accurate portrayal of the contact is given, where otherwise old pictures or photo shopped pictures may be used. Free dating websites have also become dangerous for certain individuals. This can be remedied by following the age-old practice created with blind dates: make the first few dates in public areas. For instance, you may wish to go to a bar or to the mall as compared to having dinner at the contact's house right off. This ensures that one can get to know the person, and to make sure they aren't going to be potentially dangerous or a threat to your safety in any way. Don't fall too hard for someone just yet; free dating websites have been used by the socially correct term players who are just looking for a physical relationship. Once the physical relationship is over or if another possible physical relationship comes along, don't expect the contact to stay around. These players thrive in dating communities, where they can find multiple dates even while dating one contact in particular. As a last tip, remember to have fun. One shouldn't be constantly worried over potential dangers or threats. Instead, focus on enjoying the atmosphere of the date, while being cautious to any foul play. It often helps to have several things planned for the evening, as plans tend to fall through every once in a while. Also review things that you may have in common with the contact, and be sure to have plenty to talk about when the date comes around. Final Recommendations for Healthy Free Dating Relationships If you're going to start a relationship online, there should be a natural sense of caution associated with meeting the person for the first time. The person might not act, look, or do what is on their profile. Unfortunately the Internet makes it all too easy for someone to lie about their characteristics. Also keep in mind not everyone is looking to date, despite what their profile may say. Keep a lookout for stalkers, sexual predators, and players that just want to have a physical relationship. But there isn't any need to worry, these bottom of the barrel personality types can be found out within several dates just remember to make sure to have them in public places to avoid unnecessary danger.

By Daniel Millions

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The gay community find love and friendship online

Dating in the 21st century has changed quite a bit in just the past 5 years or so. One of the most common ways of finding a mate is through online dating websites. Online dating is popular because of the ease of use and the selection of quality people. One of the great aspects of online dating is that many sites cater to alternative lifestyles. Gay or lesbian individuals can now easily find someone without having to attend special events or go to gay bars. Online dating has opened up a whole new world for these people.

On the internet there are literally millions of dating sites; most of which are of mediocre to poor quality. Traditional dating sites rely on a database of people in a geographical area which have filled out a profile and uploaded a picture. This tactic is called the picture and profile strategy. Better quality sites have dating coaches, instant response tools and lengthy profile matching processes. Gay and lesbian dating sites offer more features and tools than traditional dating sites. These sites are not just for dating but for community building and networking as well.

A website called Glee.com is one such example of the community aspect of gay dating. The website is centered around the concept of finding a date but offers much more. There are many different options for gay individuals to network. Finding a local community of gay individuals can be difficult in the real world but with the help of Glee.com members can find other in their town for friendship or work related purposes.

The site also has many forums and online chat features which help members easily find information based on topic or chat instantly with other members about those topics. Glee.com also has sections dedicated to news, fashion, music, style and job hunting. The job hunting features of this website are particularly interesting since discrimination against gay people does exist in the real world. Members can find “gay friendly” employers based upon their particular geographic location. Glee.com is open to all sexual preferences from gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and even straight people.

Another great gay dating website is called pridedating.com. Pridedating.com is centered more on dating than community building but offers some great features as well. The site has thousands of profiles to choose from. The site emphasizes that all members upload current pictures of themselves which is nice because all too often in the online dating world do people tell little white lies about themselves. The site is completely free unless you want to contact someone. This is great because it lets the user get a true feel of the website before they have to pay a membership fee. This site is strictly for gay individuals. There are no straight members unlike Glee.com.

Gay and lesbian online dating is really no different than straight online dating. Straight dating sites could actually learn a thing or two from gay dating sites such as adding the community aspect into the layout.

by JIM MACKEY

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Free Dating Sites : Join Free and Learn How Do They Operate

Sites, Profiles, & Tips : What to Do on the First Date: Internet Dating Tips -- powered by ExpertVillage.com

A description of how the free dating sites operate will help you to make a decision about using them. It's not hard to find the information you need to make a good decision.

Free dating sites are quite simply--free. That is, they are free to the end user. The expectation is that in gratitude for using the dating site at no cost to himself or herself, the single person will purchase goods and services from the commercial advertisers that pay for the placement of promotional material on the web site. In practice, this is probably true, since seeing name or a logo several times will make it more readily called into memory when needed for purchasing decisions. In turn, the more people who visit the free site and click on the message from the advertiser, the more likely the advertiser is to renew or increase the advertising message, simply because it's obviously working.

Commercial advertisers

Advertisers like to place their information and products on sites such as free dating sites. These are sites that are visited by many individuals who have an interest in new products and services, and who often have significant disposable income. When singles visit the site and enjoy their experience there, they tend to be more favorably disposed toward the advertisers that present their goods on the web site. As the advertisers see more visitors and more hits on the product, they are willing to increase their advertising budget significantly, which in turn will bring in more visitors to the site.

Profile publicity

There are some people who place their pictures on the free dating sites as a publicity gimmick. They may be hoping for work in the movies, advertising or in modeling and find that the exposure gained on such a site is very valuable in furthering their careers. Because there are safeguards built into the sites so that you only release the personal information that you deem appropriate, using the site to improve your visibility can be a profitable idea.

Informational articles

Free dating sites attract people because of the profiles they find and because of the informational materials that are available on the web site. The articles are sometimes purchased from brokers and sometimes submitted by visitors to the site to attract visitors to other web sites. The free sites are benefited by such articles since they attract more visitors who are in search of information on the various subjects covered in the articles. The subjects can be about dating or about relationships. They can be serious self-help articles or can be humorous comments on the dating scene in general.

Links

The links that can be found on the free dating sites are very helpful both to the free site and to the other web pages that use links in order to bring visitors in from a popular free site. The search engines include popularity of good incoming links as a measurement in page ranking for the web sites containing the links. A higher page rank with the search engines equates to more search engine results hits and higher revenues from the page. Those who make a business of search engine optimization take such positive link results into account when designing new web pages.

by ALAN LIM

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Dating Russian Woman - Some Expert Tips On Finding Them

Men are naturally attracted to Russian women, and you might already have found out what attracts you to them. Russian women are naturally slim and elegant, with proportionate figures, and most importantly, quite charming. They always seem to be smiling, and are seldom found in a somber mood. Their laughs are infectious too, and then they might bite their lips before bursting into laughter - a gesture that could send any male heart aflutter. That is why men around the world say that dating a Russian woman is close to a divine experience.

Russian women of today have education to add to their beauty. They are health conscious too, and that makes them good family-keepers. They are full of optimism. Their natural positive qualities does not allow them to age prematurely. That is why, if you ever find a Russian woman, and develop feelings for her, you should not waste time in letting her know. It is challenging to keep the Russian woman you are dating happy, but not one that cannot be overcome.

It is important to do everything at the right moment, though. Russian women are quite frank and with very less guile in them. So, they expect the same kind of openness in their men. Also, they are unpredictable. Though they may be coquettish at times, it is not to be taken that they are always so. At times, they could be quite headstrong when the time comes. That is why, it will depend mostly on you how your date goes ahead.

There are many ways to meet Russian women for dating. One of the commonest ones is to find one who is vacationing to your country. There are many Russian women who might travel to an advanced foreign country with some companion to search for suitable men to date. These women are generally on a kind of a love quest, and they will be open to dating, as long as there are no strings attached. You can develop a great friendship with these women, and that is all you should aim for at the start. Once the friendship materializes, different possibilities of your relationship with automatically emerge. Finding and trying out relationship possibilities with such Russian women through dating is the easiest option to meet them, but there is no guarantee that the relationship will go much ahead.

If you can take a vacation in Russia, you can do better at finding Russian women for dating. You can plan out a business trip there, and try to see how your luck gives way with dating Russian women. When you are in Russia itself, there are a lot of unexpected places where you could meet your woman. You could meet them in restaurants, or even on the street.

But dating Russian women in Russia is a bit of a problem, because the woman will be conscious of her own people. Hence, you will need to be discreet in your affair. Also, being polished in your manners will help a lot.

Another interesting and safer way of meeting and dating Russian women could be through online dating websites. There are many such websites, and you might find the one made for you here. But be careful. Such websites are full of women who are not actually looking for romance. They could be out just for a bit of fun, or maybe even to just polish on their English knowledge. But there will be genuine ones too, those who are looking for a real date and even marriage.

You have to be ready also for a few shocks. Meeting someone online and chatting with them there is very different from meeting them in person. You might find out that the Russian woman you were dating online is not as good looking as her photo you saw online, or perhaps you do not like her mannerisms. Be ready for such shocks. Keep in mind that the woman might be feeling the same way too. Hence, it is advisable to spend a bit of time knowing the woman online before making a physical trip to her hometown. That will give you better time to put things into perspective.

Author Resource:- Russian women are known to be amongst the most beautiful, stylish, well dressed, educated & family orientated women on the planet. If you are serious about finding a Russian bride, you must read our hard hitting and honest reviews of the top Russian dating web sites. Don't be a victim of Russian dating scams. Learn more.

By : Peter Finch
Article From New Ezine Articles

What Is the Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships?

Some teens have shared these ideas.

A healthy relationship is based on:

* Trust
* Shared decision-making
* Respect
* Compromise
* Open communication
* Recognizing and respecting differences
* Mutually agreed upon intimacy
* Openness
* Sharing
* Taking responsibility for one's own actions

An unhealthy relationship may include:

* Bullying
* Jealousy
* Possessiveness
* Manipulation
* Verbal abuse
* Blaming someone else for actions
* Pressured intimacy/ unwanted touching
* Intimidation
* Fear

Power and Control - It's a one way street

Healthy relationships are a two-way street--each person has to give and take. Healthy relationships are based on respect and equality. Power and control by one person over another is what unhealthy relationships are all about. Unhealthy relationships are a one-way street. Whether you are now dating or plan to date sometime in the future, knowing what is and what is not a healthy relationship is important to you.

Learn the warning signs

Did you know this about Massachusetts' public high school students (grades 9 - 12)?

* One in nine students (11%) had at some time been hurt, physically or sexually, by someone they were dating¹.
* Female students were more than twice as likely as males to report having experienced teen dating violence (16% vs. 6%).¹
* One in ten students (10%) had experienced sexual contact against his/her will.¹

Are you dating (or would you date) someone who:

* Tells you what to wear, who to hang out with and when you can see your friends?
* Wants to get too serious about the relationship before you are ready?
* Is jealous and possessive, wants to pick your friends, checks up on you all the time (by obsessive phone calling or paging), won't accept breaking up?
* Puts you down in front of friends, tells you that you would be nothing without him or her, calls you names?
* Uses guilt trip-- "If you really loved me, you would..." or says "I'll kill myself if you leave me"?
* Scares you? Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do? Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons? Drives recklessly when you are in the car?
* Makes, but does not keep, promises to change-- "I promise I'll never do that again"
* Pressures you for intimacy, touches you when and where you do not want to be touched or is forceful or scary about sex?
* Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to take them?
* Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
* Is violent? Has a history of fighting, loses his/her temper quickly or brags about mistreating others? Grabs, pushes, shoves or hits you?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you could be the victim of teen dating violence or involved in an abusive dating relationship.

Dating violence can take many forms

Physical: shoving, hitting, punching
Verbal: yelling, screaming, put-downs
Emotional: spreading rumors, lying, possessiveness
Sexual: unwanted touching
Psychological: manipulation, mind games, guilt tripping.
Ending a violent or abusive dating relationship can be difficult and dangerous.

Dating violence can even lead to rape or murder.

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Adult Dating
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What Is the Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships?

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How To Set up An Attractive Profile in Online Dating Site

What is the most important thing to do after you join an online dating service? Recent studies show that most male singles tend contact profiles that they find attractive. So, when you join an online dating site to find your Mr. Right, make sure you set up a profile that appears really decent. A nicely set up profile enhances your chance of capturing attentions from many male singles. The following tips on how to set up an attractive profile can help you a great deal.

Profile Name: This is something that most of us ignore as unimportant while setting up our profile in online dating sites. However, studies show that an interesting profile name tends to draw more attention than a profile with a run-of-the-mill name. “So, what is an interesting profile name”, you may wonder. An interesting profile name doesn’t necessarily have a flash of sex; it will do more harm to your profile than good. Try and use a spin-off of your name, nickname, video game character, movie star or even favorite comic character. If you prefer using their names, make it a little interesting. Using a simple name might not get you the attention you require due to the fact the online dating site is usually have a lot of other members who might be your namesake.

Photo: If you think not including a photo in your online dating profile will make others more curious about your profile, think again. Studies indicate that most online dating single men tend ignore profiles of female singles that either have not pictures or have photos that look fake. Try to put a picture of you that look really decent; you have your best friend pick the best one she think before you put it up on your online dating profile. There are a few who include group photos in their online dating profile. This is never a good idea as it tends to confuse others about who you really are. You can keep your group pictures in the album section. Then again, choose the right pictures while including them in your album.

Descriptions: Be as honest as you can while writing your description. For example, there is no point in lying about your height, weight and similar details. However, don’t give away your very personal details such as your cell number. The ‘about me’ section is the best opportunity for you to attract potential attention. Describe who you really are in an interesting fashion. Include your hobbies such as music and sports. When it comes to the question whether you should tell the truth about you smoking and drinking habit, studies show you should be honest about them.

In a nutshell, an online dating profile that appears decent, natural and fun gets more attention that any other profiles. Don’t try to make your profile too serious. Remember, online dating is a fun way to achieve your Mr. Right.

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Online Dating -- Privacy and Security Risks

In order to register for an online dating service, consumers are often asked to provide exhaustive personal information. How this information will be handled varies widely between companies. Most companies keep certain information private while making other details available to other members or even to anyone with Internet access. And as the recent wave of security breaches demonstrates, hackers are capable of pulling information out of company databases thought to be secure against intruders.

Here are a few tips for online dating services:

Read the site's privacy policy, terms of service, and any membership agreement or contract very carefully. Privacy policies should be straightforward and tell you exactly how information you submit may be used, and the membership agreement or contract should also be clear. While many online dating services are inexpensive, some are not;

Do not use an e-mail address you use for other purposes and avoid using any address that contains your name or your employer's or school's name. Instead, use an e-mail address from a service that will permit you to open an account without giving out your personal information. Be sure to check with your e-mail provider for terms and conditions of use. Do not give out even this e-mail address too readily;

Do not use a telephone number that can be traced to you through directory services. Check with your cellular service provider to find out whether third parties can associate your name with your cellular phone number;

Report abusive communications to the webmaster of the dating service. If the behavior continues, and you feel unsafe in view of the personal information you have disclosed, call your local police department.

Location-based Dating Services

Location-based or "real-world" dating services sometimes involve contracts with high costs and little chance of cancellation by the consumer. Contracts can easily run $1,000 -- even $10,000 contracts are not uncommon. Again, consumers should scrutinize contracts before signing.

Look for contract terms that clearly disclose:

The exact cost and any future payments that may be required. If you sign a retail installment contract, pay close attention to the interest and terms of payment;

Whether, and under what circumstances, you may cancel the contract and receive a refund;

Whether you can transfer the contract to another location in the event you move;

Exactly what the business, at a minimum, must do for you, including whether it guarantees a minimum number of matches. Also check to see whether the contract defines what will be considered a "match."

In addition to carefully reviewing the contract, there are other steps consumers can take to protect themselves before signing a contract with a real-world dating service. Here are a several additional tips:

Beware of aggressive sales tactics -- Some location-based dating services with sales offices and experienced salespersons may use aggressive tactics to persuade you to sign up on the spot. In addition to using a "now or never" pitch to pressure you into signing, companies may also drag out the length of your visit, rotate salespersons, and manufacture extreme consequences for any delay on your part. Refuse to sign any contract you can't take home overnight to review;

Get straight answers to your questions, in writing. This is especially important with regard to fees and terms of cancellation times. If the representative won't give you a straight answer, in writing, you should not sign up for the service;

Be wary of verbal promises that are not in your contract, especially concerning the company's vast list of potential matches that meet your specific dating criteria. Inquire into the company's male to female member ratio, number of active members, whether or not they have any satisfied customers you could speak to, and what they offer in the way of a refund if the service is not successful in your case. Again, get it in writing;

Don't pay for a contract you can't afford -- if the price is too high, chances are that the business will be able to offer you a cheaper deal. Remember: if you sign up but can't pay the charges, your credit score could be damaged;

Don't sign a contract that contains terms you think are unfair. If there are contract terms you don't like, demand that they be changed or removed, in writing.

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Free Internet Dating Site - Tips For Women And Join Free Dating Sites Today

People join a free internet dating site for fun, making new friends and relationships. Be it a man or a woman, everyone wants a compatible partner. These days, finding partners on internet and then dating them, has become a trend in our society.

A different experience

Generally we are used to meet our friends and partners in a social gathering, at work places, parties or bars. Meeting and dating a partner through internet sites gives an altogether different experience to women. It also broadens her criteria of finding a partner whom she has never met or seen. Many women think that meeting people from different parts of the world or a region through a dating site is not at all a bad idea to try. No doubt it adds a sense of excitement but also gives women different choices.

Socially active

Women are always more active, considerate and thoughtful in choosing a right partner for themselves. In contrast to their opposite sex, women are more serious about their relationships. Similarly, on a free internet dating site, they are more choosy and circumspect. In order to succeed in a relationship through internet, they have to be more active because they are talking to a person whom they haven’t met or seen. They have to be more thoughtful in judging that person.

Tips for Internet dating

While looking out to start a relationship through a dating site, women should keep in mind some tips, which may help them in finding the right partner. Some of these are :

Broaden your circle

Over the years, it has been noticed that the people you have met online display a totally different personality when you meet them in person. There could be people who have not written too much about themselves in the profile but once you start conversing with them you might see a completely different person. One should see these free internet dating sites as more of a means to increase the pool of friends or people you might date.

Be sure what you are looking in a man

Though it’s a very difficult question for women to answer that what kind of man she is looking for? Studies suggest that women tend to make compromise on some issues in favor of men they meet online. Though it is good to have an attitude of no prior notions in mind but still one must set some standards about the partner you are looking for.

Be confident

Another important tip is to be confident in asking straightforward questions. Again free internet dating sites allow you to be confident and courageous to ask certain questions, which you might not ask someone in person. This again allows women to be more open about their ideas and relationship.

Be safe

This is the most important tip one must consider. Until you are not very sure, don’t give any information such as address, contact number or personal information. Also be careful while sending out your photographs over the internet.

Enjoy and be yourself

You should enjoy your stay at these sites. There is nothing to lose till you are not passing any information, which can hurt you. There is always a good chance to find a good friend or partner who can understand you, have good sense of humor, and also make you feel special. So be yourself and enjoy finding a true friend or a soul mate on these free internet dating sites.

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Free Internet Dating Site - Tips for Men And Joining Free Dating Sites Today

In today’s busy life, men might not have enough time to find a true friend or a soul mate. It has been seen that very often men get too much involved with their career and goals that they are not able to spend quality time to find a person of their dreams. Mostly they look for a partner whom they can date in their work area. It not only limits their choices but also they might have to wait longer to meet the woman they might like. Free internet dating site can give you more choices to find someone who can understand you better.

Helpful sites

Usually we meet our partners at work places, parties or social gathering. Now days, these free internet dating sites are an alternative to meet your friends and soul mate from your own city or different parts of the world. These sites are free to join. Once you join the site, it is entirely on the members how they make use of these sites.

Tips for Internet dating

A man who meets a woman through internet site should follow some tips, which may prove helpful in vowing and impressing the woman. Some of these tips are :

Be Humorous and Creative

Men should be humorous while writing mails/chat and be creative while creating profiles on these free internet dating sites. This will make a positive impression of your personality on the women.

Don’t Hurry

In order to succeed in the relationships started through free internet dating sites, don’t be eager and in a hurry in convincing the woman for the first meeting. Women being more thoughtful in starting a relationship, take their own time in judging and accepting a man. Man should give the woman both time and space in deciding for their first meeting.

Discuss Families

Girls are most attached to their families. Do discuss sometimes about each other’s families. This will help in building confidence in each other and will open more topics to talk, for long period of time.

Be Honest

It is an old saying that the basis of a relationship is trust and honesty. Be honest to the girl about your past relationships. This will help you in future since you will have nothing to hide and you will be more open to each other.

Share Future

Although one should discuss his past but one should also talk about each other’s future plans. The girl whom you see as your soul mate should know your future plans. This approach will reflect your maturity and throw light about your future plans.

Right approach

Free internet dating sites are just a platform for meeting new people. What one needs is the right approach and knowledge to make the optimum use of these sites. The tips discussed above can help men in approaching a person that can result in the beginning of a new relationship for a lifetime. Being true to yourself and the person you are talking to will help you in finding a perfect match.

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Hey! What are you waiting for? Come and join Internet Dating or Free Internet Dating and find your lady! These tips will definitely take you a long way and join free now to start dating!

Long Distance Relationships and Separated Tours

Married but living apart due to employment opportunities, the educational needs of your children, or the demands of a sick or elderly family member back home? Are you involved in a relationship, but unable to live in the same city, not to mention country? The term "geographic single" is often used to describe persons who live apart from those they love. This paper is intended to provide some suggestions for members of the Foreign Service facing a geographic separation from their mate.

Plan for the Separation

* Be honest with each other about your concerns and fears. Being committed to the relationship and to one another during the separation is important.
* Talk about the upcoming separation and how you will cope. Share your expectations about being apart from each other so there are no misunderstandings. Also share your expectations when you are planning to visit each other or take a vacation together.
* Set up a communication system. How will you keep in touch on a daily / weekly basis? Marriage counselors tout that communication is key to a healthy relationship. The new millennium offers more ways to communicate, in addition to fast air travel across continents. International phone calls, video teleconferencing through one's computer, web sites, international mail services, and electronic transmissions of words, cards, music, photos, and video connect loved ones together in a cyberspace second.
* Many people in the Military or Foreign Service find themselves separated from spouses and family for extended periods of time due to separated tours or temporary duty travel. This presentation identifies behaviors that strengthen often-apart or long-distance relationships.
* Practical considerations:

- Establish separate bank accounts (can still be joint) to keep records clear.
- Set up a power of attorney for any expected (and unexpected) financial transactions.
- Review wills of both parties and make any necessary updates.
- Establish areas of responsibility (who will pay what, contract for what, etc.), keeping in mind that the spouse in the United States will probably have more responsibilities.
Depending on circumstances, the family might consider some of the following:

- Share your skills with your spouse by teaching them what you know! Both should know how to put film in camera, fix loose wires, change fuses, sew on buttons, maintain financial records, and prepare food.
- Divide kitchen utensils, cookbooks, rugs, furniture, books, and anything that will be needed in both locations. Make copies of favorite recipes.
- Prepare family pictures, special books, music cassettes of favorite selections that will have psychological importance.
- Heighten awareness about income tax requirements, i.e., collection of certain receipts, invoices, and other financial considerations.
* Discuss how to make decisions about children.
* Say good-bye. Plan appropriate parties and events. Remember that one spouse will be leaving even if the other is staying. Be sure to include the children in these important good-byes.

During the Separation

Remember that this experience is time-limited. Put on paper the reasons for accepting this separated assignment and refer to it periodically, as a reminder.

* Although you are apart from one another, make time for each other. Make time to communicate using those means you have set up for doing so. If you do not have an opportunity to have a telephone conversation or write an email, spend time thinking about your spouse. Some suggest keeping a journal that you can share when you are together.
* Plan to see and call each other as often as finances allow. Plan something fun to do when you get the opportunity to spend time together.
* Work on creative ways to communicate! As mentioned above, international phone calls, video teleconferencing through one's computer, web sites, international mail services, and electronic transmissions of words, cards, music, photos, and video connect loved ones together in a cyberspace second. Instant messaging is a great way to have a conversation online. Since you can not read one another's non-verbal communication, use symbols or words or happy faces (whatever you like) to illustrate your thoughts. Play backgammon online together!
* Surprise your mate once in awhile with an unexpected phone call.
* Send care packages with personal notes.
* Cultivate a mentality of "the less hassle the better" for each spouse. Find help for lawn care, bill paying, house cleaning, shopping, if necessary. Find a reliable plumber, electrician, carpenter, and auto mechanic to call in emergencies.
* Take pictures of post, quarters, surrounding area, Embassy office, friends, so that spouse in the U.S. can visualize what it's like at post.
* Each partner may find it helpful to keep a journal, especially at the onset of separation.
* Talk about ground rules for what sort of information and emotions, especially emotions, can be shared and in what manner.

The End of a Separated Tour: Return to Normalcy

* Allow time for the returning spouse to get reacquainted and adjust to being back home. Also allow time to re-adjust to shared decision making and responsibilities.
* Talk about the experience.

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Internet and other Fraud Schemes in the Ukraine

United States citizens should be alert to attempts at fraud by persons claiming to live in Ukraine who offer goods for sale or profess friendship, romantic interest, and /or marriage intentions over the Internet. Neither the Embassy nor the Department of State is in a position to help recover lost money or property in such cases.

Purchasing goods via the Internet: U.S. citizens should exercise extreme caution when conducting on-line transactions with parties in Ukraine. The Embassy receives frequent reports from Americans who have transferred funds to Ukraine for the purchase via on-line auctions of goods that never arrive. Likewise, the Embassy also receives reports of non-payment for items shipped to addresses in Ukraine. When considering such transactions, exercise due diligence.

Dating Schemes and Marriage Fraud: The most frequent reports of scams the Embassy and the Department of State receive relate to on-line dating and marriage services. Correspondents who quickly move to professions of romantic interest or discussion of intimate matters could very well be scammers. The anonymity of the Internet means that the U.S. citizen cannot be sure of the real name, age, marital status, nationality, or even gender of the correspondent. In many cases, the correspondent turns out to be a fictitious persona created only to lure the U.S. citizen into sending money.

Typically, once a connection is made, the correspondent asks the U.S. citizen to send money or credit card information for living expenses, travel expenses, or "visa costs." Sometimes, the correspondent notifies the American citizen that a close family member is ill and begins to request monetary assistance. In other instances, the scammer cites the need to pay for travel expenses and “necessary travel documents” or expresses the need for funds to settle a property or other legal dispute in order to leave Ukraine.

A request for funds almost always marks a fraudulent correspondent. American citizens who fall prey to these scams have reported suffering emotional damage as well as losing thousands of dollars. U.S. citizens are cautioned against sending any money to persons they have not actually met. If they do choose to send money, they can take several precautions.

* They may refer to http://uscis.gov for authoritative information about the immigration process and the true costs involved. For example, U.S. law does not require Ukrainian visitors to have a certain amount of "pocket money" in either local currency or dollars. Any request for money on this account would likely identify a scammer.

* They may arrange to prepay for a plane ticket directly with the carrier rather than wiring money for transportation to the traveler.

* If the correspondent provides an image of a purported U.S. visa as proof of intention to travel, the American citizen may contact the U.S. Embassy in Kyiv to ascertain the validity of the visa.

* They should carefully check the address of the bank account to which money is to be wired. If a Ukrainian citizen asks for funds to be deposited in a bank outside of Ukraine, this is an indication of likely fraud.

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